heart killer

trick shot in nilai- u were my 1st student in pool..haha..u looked so funny when u hold de cue..was so bad tempered when i thought u at de 1st time..haha..so soli..not dare to go there anymore...u did take some pic 4 me...all my poses...haha

inti's cyber cafe- went there when both of us do not hav our laptop with us..feeding frenzy??..haha..u intro tat game to me..nearly throw the mouse cuz its reli a hapenning game..n im not dare to stay there 4 a long time..

mosque in inti- our 1st date??..should b..used to sit there n chat til very very late...haha..spend most of our night time there..hanging around n being silly..stil remember i hold ur hands very tight n spin u around..haha..if theres no important things..im sure i wont step into hostel area..

behind dining hall- u cried there..apologising 4 makin me suffered...haha..soli 4 not considering ur feelings..forcing u to make a hard decision..but u made it at last..thanks 4 de chance...chat bout our future in dining hall..tat time i knew u were de 1..de only 1..i swear i wont go to dining hall..i don hav de courage to b there

behind de swimmin pool- we had a great time there..being ourselves n chat wadever we can...u elwez say wana go 4 a walk n tat is our place..haha..i know u luv it..although we're feeding de mosquito but we don care..haha..u took my winston there..made me a small box of cigarette..i stil hav it wif me...thanks 4 de effort..but i couldnt stand it..smoke in de end...soli 4 giving u such a big disappointment...

sports hall- haha..caught me smoking when i was havin a break...u din say anyitn..but i know u suffered so much...im so soli..start from 26th of sept...u left me on tat day...n i smoke even more...i reli don wana b alone..when im alone ill think of so many things...

pontian- my favourite place in west malaysia...guan seng, cool!!..ah po..the best!!!..tian hai..had a hokkien mee there..its delicious 4 me..ur dad's office..de 1st time i hav a face to face wif those oil palm..did help ur parents wif those bills...miss them so much..temple..was treated like a superhuman there..haha..ur house...i do hav my own room there...JN82...not taking u 4 granted...but i reli do miss de time v spent in de car..i miss pontian..but i don hav any courage to go there..promise ur bro to go there..but i know i've made an empty promise..soli...

my room- empty..empty n empty..memories r stil wif me..i reli don wish to stay in tis house anymore..i cant stand de pain...evertin here reli reminds me of ur existence..u cheered me up..u gav me hope...we worked together...u tought me maths..we spent most of our time in our house..a warmth feeling...but..........u took it back..everything...

melaka- went to melaka few days ago..butterfly park???...crocodile farm??...got fed up wif ah ku's drving??...n here comes a shocking news from a lady...tat time ur so disappointed...starting to pull out ur love slowly n slowly...may i turn back the time??

genting- our last trip was in genting..hem..kinda had fun...was having all those question mark in my mind...y u act differently??..expected...but...til now i also cant accept it...im so soli..i lied at u tat i wil recover soon...but i dono when wil de wound will be healed...only u hav de med..but i know..u've thrown the med away..

sentul- i've jus known a fren from sentul...when she told me shes from sentul..i cant even hold my thought n tears...memories in sentul keep on flooding in..i was clubbing at tat time..erm..yesterday i think...in maison....

02 oct 2008, 11.43pm..i received ur msg..tellin me ur last n final decision...i reli don wana make u suffer..i willin to let u go...cuz..u wil never put ur trust in me again..i can feel it...i've never pulled out my trust in u..i jus cant stand to c my love...is walking away from me...u know im a very bad tempered person...but my bad tempered made u walked even faster...trust?? been together 4 2 years..no trust??..ur weird...a big disappointment...

wana giv a special thanks to all my frens, especially elvin and gary...thanks bro...u were there 4 me when i was weak...u accompanied me most of de time...but...its reli hard 4 me to get healed...special thank to ka yinng, spendin ur time although ur in uk now..thanks...thanks sis..luvya elwez...called me so many times to check on me...appreciate it alot...thanks mum n dad...although dad's msg is kinda sacarstic...but..i know u jus wan me to hapi...n 1 more person i wana say thanks...ur elwez there wif me when im down...thanks ming wei...

i wana confess myself...i told u guys im ok...cyprian is a hapi go lucky guy ma..no problem la~!!...i lied...i reli cant stand de feelings...i reli nid a big big plaster....

u jus walked away...din even turn back...ill b here standing...n charge all the way by myself...miss u

everything has come to an end

once it is torn, it wont be combined anymore..but i don wish tis sentence is true..expected we would end up tis way, but stil...i cant accept it...expectation doesnt mean u'll hav a wise acception..26 of sept 2008..would b a nightmare 4 me..i reli hope there wil not b 26th of sept!!..when tis new semester started..i found out sumtin tat can relax me so much...is to be alone..sittin in bistro..relaxing urself wif a cup of teh o ice..lookin at de environment..relaxes me a lot...i did de same thing too 2day (26 sept)...automatically u wil pop out in my mind..theres no more relaxation 4 me at tis period..making myself bz n tired would be de best thing ever..have to be extremely exhausted, can sleep directly without anything in mind...

i don hav a single hatred on u...not even a bit...ill b de asshole if i stil keep u by my side...should be thankful to hav u to b my piggy once in my lifetime..all the forgiveness tat u've given..reli flood my eyes wif tears..should b hapi 4 u cuz ur gonna start a new life soon..4getting all de bad memories here..18th of jan 2008..stil remember??..sumtin bad happend to both of us...u got disappointed..i lost a bunch of frens..but de important thing was i've hurted u badly..im so sorry 4 tat..

its reli torturing to let u go..like in my 1st post..my room is so empty without u..now my whole farking life is so empty without u...not trying to take things 4 granted but i reli felt so...de time now is 7.12pm, 26th of sep 2008, clement went back, kok went to work...if nothing happened i would b in pontian wif u now..resting at home..i've lost sumtin valuable...i couldnt get it back 4 sure..jus let it b..time will fade everything..hopefully it reli does...

thanks 4 all de sweet memories...i cant cal u baby or dear anymore...not even ur nickname..fei po ling..i will locked these in my heart..now..2molo..until my last breath..but i reli hope things wil change..not tis endin..i've told u tat ur de last n i mean it..can i tel u sumtin??..3rd of dec will b de happiest day in my life...i've registered a vacation 2 hk...only both of us...haha..but now...yeah..stil there wil b 2 person goin..but its gonna b my parents...a suprise turn into a tragedy...

all i wan from u is to live hapily...do remember to eat...n a special msg to yen ling...do take care of her..she wont eat anytin when shes alone...do acc her 4 de 3 meals...gastric is her worst nightmare..so...thanks hl...i can only meet u...in de pics...n our sweet memories...thanks 4 being such a good gf..wil b rite here..waiting 4 u to say yes again...take care n luvya..

sandakan from de outlooks but innerlooks r kuala lumpur??!!

hahaha...in my lovely hometown now...but 1 thing that reli shocked me was...let me start from de 1st step i arrive sdk on sunday..reach here exactly at 10.20...parents came to pick me up and was so so hapi to c my mum...

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tis is my mum..haha..stil in her cute lil chubby body posture...haha..a huge hug n kisses were given..whaha..

then straight to a place called indah jaya for my breakfast...when i reached there, wad a suprise was the whole indah jaya was so so so dead!!!!!...it used to b a family day...crowded with families and uncountable ppl walking around...no cars...no ppl...no no no!!...weird rite??..damn..besides thats it was a shocking news tat price of foods in sdk had increased...beef noodle was RM3.50 when i was stil here..n when i reached sdk tis time my favourite beef noodle increase to RM5.50 per bowl!!!..omg..its reli taking my breath away..wad is happening in sandakan???...let me guess...bcuz of de increament of petrol price..everybody is takin de increament 4 granted!!..damn...its hard to find a beef noodle at RM5.50 in nilai or johor...sigh...

but jesselton is stil jesselton...my favourite cafe in sandakan..stil in de same price and feelin comfortable when im in it...im in jesselton now...enjoying and relaxing myself with a cup of ice americano and a choc moist cake..haha..yummy....here r some pics of jesselton coffee..haha

how do u guys think about it??..haha..do come to sandakan n gimme a cal..ill b ur tour guide n im sure u wont regret 4 coming to sdk..haha..then in this sem break..i think im gonna spend most of my timein jesseton coffee...haha...anyway..got to go now..dad waiting 4 me at home..4 my dinner..opppsss...its 7.16 now...gonna b late..haha..ill update u guys again ya..do gimme some time..haha..bye bye!!!

back but not back

finally..exams over!!!..haha..felt tired after my exam but managed to clean de whole house n my room all by myself until 11 something..its not itring at all but de cleaning relaxed me..weird huh??..haha..its 3.19am now n i have to get awake at 5am as i hav a flight to catch at 7.15..where am i heading to??..haha..of course to my lovely hometown...SANDAKAN!!!..feeling excited to meet my parents after a few months in nilai...yeah ur rite..a mummy's boy huh??

goin back soon but im goin to be far from my baby..don feel like goin back actually n i never plan to go back on tis sem break!!..cuz of my stupid weak body tat made me sick seriously 4 almost 3 to 5 daysss, worried by my family and forced to go back...hemm..shouldnt use de word force..haha..but...i can feel de distance..getting far from each other if i get back...or mayb its jus de 1st few days after u've left me behind??...i do wish to overcome it as its reli hurting me a lot..

alone again at home...stil remember de sofa my dear??..u were helping me with my grey hair..setting de price of RM1 for each of my grey hair..haha..let me tel u 1 thing..jus let me owe u as much as i can so that i can pay my debt in my lifetime...im willing to use my entire life to pay u my debt so that i can b with you all de time...im surely miss u...when im not with you..do take good care of urself and bcome my baby tat i used to know...NO DIET FOR U MAAAMMM!!!...if u get thinner when i meet ya...u will b dead..haha...

ill b goin back soon...but far from my baby...ill miss u my dear...muacksss...BACK BUT NOT BACK....

the torturing moment

GOD....please bless me 2molo for my paper..i know i will only turn to u when problem is rite in front of me..im so soli 4 that but i reli wish u can send me your blessingss...im about to sit 4 my exam later at 8 to 10 continue with another at 5 to 7..im trying my best now to review on what i've revised but...my mind is totally blank now!!...pls pls pls...

tis is de 1st time...struggling in my studies..as i know i can handle theories..but not at this moment..omg!!!..what should i do...if u were here with me...i bet i wont b tat stress..giving me ur support would b de med to cure everything...look at ur pic wil make me smile..look at my room will bring emptiness..if possible i wish to move to hostel when ur finally go to aus...anyway...its 2am sharp...time to stick my butt to the chair again..

envy envy envy...ah kok, hes playing computer games now..haha..enjoying himself after de war..but 1 thing i got touched by him..he said:

kok: eh..studying ah??..aiyooo...im very sien...dono waad can i do after exam..haih...

cyprian: damn u...no choice...

kok: aih..since i hav nonthing to do..ill accompany u til 8am. although i don nid to sit 4 my exam 2molo..ok mou??

cyprian: haha...bullshit la u!!

until now..hes stil awake..usually he wont b awake at tis time..such a good asshole..haha...opppsss...talk too much...time to go!..haa..

he is the man...adrian aka ah kok

when i turn my back from you

14 of aug..exactly at 1.56pm...i've spent not more than a minute staring at your face...one last hug before u leave...its reli killing me..de hard feelings that suddenly popped out from my heart when i walked straight to the elevator...from that second i can felt the lonesome was jus right in front of me...im not dare to look at u 4 more than a minute..i know i cant manage to overcome the feelings of getting stabbed by a knife..i chosed to walk straight and without looking back and say goodbye...once i got back...the room is so empty without u...parts of my stuff were in the room...wheres urs??...wheres ur dirty clothes??..wheres ur cosmetics??...and where is ur small piggy pillow??...they will not appear in my room anymore..the whole house is empty..the emptiness keeps on flooding in...yeah..ah kok, my cousin was here wif me..but its not the same..the room belongs to us...but...i jus cant suit it!!...the room is not for me only...haiihhh

i wish i can turn back the time...stop it right there and u will b here again..with me all the time...dinner together, take our nap together, bullshit with each other...tis is a test for us...i know we can overcome it 4 sure!!..but..i jus cant face it all by myself...im totally a stranger to myself now...i dono who i am when ur not here wif me...mayb im too dependant...im writting tis blog at 2.24am-15th of aug...i hope u will stay by my side again...

i promise u ill take good care of myself...i wont let u wori bout me k??..i will keep my word...elwez remember the do's and dont's..haha..but i jus wan u to know..i miss u baby..im totally lost without u...i cant find myself...where am i??..u brought me home as well??...aihh...its getting late now...gonna sleep soon...n im gonna sleep 2nite all myself tonite..hope i can overcome the loneliness and sleep soundly without ur hug...finally..luv u elwez n miss ya...Huey Ling..